Morning madness (why do I never learn….?)

Ah the morning ‘routine’ (I use the term loosely). Every week day morning I’m whirling around in a vortex of mascara, nappies, dry shampoo, Weetabix and nursery bags, sucking up anything and everything in my path.  The whirlwind eventually spits me out a harassed woman on the edge at my desk by 9am feeling like I’ve done a day’s work already.

And every god damn day I convince myself I’m going to be organised. Enough of the madness; tomorrow I will be prepared.  Here’s what I promise myself I will do that evening:

  • Iron my work clothes
  • Wash and dry my hair
  • Make a packed lunch
  • Get Willow’s nursery clothes out ready
  • Pack her nursery bag
  • Get into bed by 10pm

What could possibly go wrong?

By 5pm my resolution is waning, I’m tired, I’m hungry, I have to collect Willow from nursery and the whole play, tea, bath and bed charade is looming in front of me.  So here’s what actually happens:

  • We usually don’t get to eat our evening meal until after 8pm, fraught from  bedtime negotiations and attempting to put the house back together.
  • I’m still up at 11pm in a vegetative state watching some rubbish on TV mentally chastising myself that I should have gone to bed an hour ago. I still don’t move. Hair is not washed or dried. Idiot.
  • I have to get up at 6:30am, knackered because of the pointless TV watching, but this is the only way I’ll get my hair washed and dried and a smattering of makeup applied before Willow wakes up.
  • I grab clothes of the ‘clean’ pile that look the least crumpled.
  • I consider making a sandwich for my lunch then Willow will launch her breakfast everywhere and the thought is forgotten only to be regretted later on when I’m stuck with a crusty cheese sandwich from the canteen at work.
  • I wear my dressing gown over my work clothes to prevent being covered in Weetabix, snot, and or toothpaste. The result is slightly crumpled clothes now look like they have been trampled on by a rhino.
  • I remember to pack Willow’s nursery bag as we are leaving the house but only because I see it hanging on her hook by the door and am reminded to do so.
  • I run out the door, wrestle Willow into her car seat and vow that I’m going to be more organised that night.

Sound familiar?  I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this morning shambles.  People tell me it will get easier.  Whatever.

Any suggestions for getting my ass organised? Or am I a lost cause – you can say it, we’re friends.

Speak soon

Kat x

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Diary of An Imperfect Mum
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I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! 

This blog is part moan, part apology.

I’m sorry if I forget your birthday or your child’s birthday or your wedding anniversary or your dog’s naming day or any other special occasion that requires marking. I’m putting it out there because it will happen. Not because I don’t care, or have turned Jehovah’s Witness but genuinely because if I remember to clean my teeth in the morning I count that as a good day.

These days I constantly find myself apologising for forgetting things. I’m like the March Hare bounding about checking the 21st century equivalent of the pocket watch – my iPhone calendar. I always get there in the end, with cards and gifts (well nearly, I still owe my lovely friend Kate a birthday pressie for last May but she’s really tricky to buy for) I’m just a bit tardy. It’s the sheer volume of ‘stuff’ that overwhelms me. These days there are so many things you have to remember to do – a Facebook post, WhatsApp message, cards, email, gift…. How about I sky write you a message too?  Don’t even get me started on the trend for making homemade gifts.  No I don’t have the time or skills to knit you a scarf, whip up a batch of jam or make you a Welsh Dresser.  If I do remember then there is the gift etiquette to consider. How much to spend? Too little and you look cheap, too much and you look flashy (rest assured my budget dictates I’m always leaning more towards the cheap side of things) Then there’s the wrapping – paper or bag or both? Bow, ribbon, gift tag, tropical butterfly that flutters out once opened? Too. Much. Pressure.

I sound like a right miso and I’m really not. I love special occasions, in fact birthdays are the only time my friends and I manage to get together such are our stupidly hectic schedules. I’m just imploring us all to cut each other some slack. We have so many balls in the air (actually it’s more like juggling with chain saws) keeping  the small humans alive. In the grand scheme of things is it not better to be a bit late than not remember at all (and perhaps your gift will be wrapped in newspaper)?

For what it’s worth, here’s what I think about this thorny subject: It’s not a competition, it’s the thought that counts and I love you all lots 365 days a year.  Not just on your birthday (if you could just remind me when that is again….?)

Speak soon

Kat x

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Diary of An Imperfect Mum

Under the sea…..

Urgh January, it’s cold, it’s damp, it’s generally grim. Seeing as I don’t want to set foot out the house and leave the snuggly warmth of our log burner I thought I would reminisce about happier times and our trip to the Sealife Centre in Blackpool last year.

We decided to go for Willow’s first birthday at the end of November. The original plan was to go to the zoo but it was so cold on the day we thought that we ( who is always freezing and would be moaning within the first five minutes of getting out of the car) wouldn’t really enjoy it, so the Sealife Centre seemed to be the next best thing.

I wasn’t really expecting much, as well, it’s Blackpool. I thought it would be tacky with a few sad looking fish in some grotty tanks (it’s ok I live here, I can say it) but it really wasn’t.  In fact it was the complete opposite. We had a voucher to get in which gave us £5 off per adult but it still came to £25 which I think is a little pricey, especially if you have older children that you have to pay for as well. I think they sometimes have offers on and I think you can buy a yearly pass which works out cheaper.  Also you can come and go as many times as you want in a day, say if you want to nip out for some lunch.

Anyway, far from it being tacky it was actually really fun and educational – for me the perfect combo!Of course Willow is too little to take in the educational side of things but they massively support sea conservation projects and aim to teach children about protecting the earth’s waters and sea life.

There is a lift to the aquarium so perfect for prams and little legs. They also have a pram park at the start if you don’t want to take your pram round which, if it’s busy, could be a bit of a pain. It’s probably worth noting that as it was the end of November it wasn’t very busy so we could see everything at leisure.  I suspect at busy times you may have to wait to get near a tank or queue to see things.

Willow was a bit reticent at first and clung to one of us like a limpet (get it? Sorry.) I think this was because it is low lit and to be honest she’d never seen real fish before. She soon got into it though.  Following the fish about, pointing, laughing and touching the glass.  It was hilarious to watch her as she thought she could go through the glass to be with the fishes.

She got really brave and stuck her head in the glass bubbles which make it feel like you are in the tanks. She literally squealed with delight.  Visually it was so stimulating for her, the movement, the light hitting the water.  She loved it.  I thought she might have been a bit frightened to go in the tunnel but she loved watching the sharks and rays gliding over our heads.  In fact she didn’t want to come out of that bit and got into a grump.  Of course because she enjoyed it so much we enjoyed it all the more too.

We kept missing them but they hsve feeding session for different fish throughout the day. I really wanted to see the shark feeding but Willow was obsessed with the ‘Nemo’ fish so we stayed at that tank instead.  We let her set the pace for getting round which worked really well.

I would definitely recommend the Sealife Centre for a family day out. For babies and toddlers they can soak up the new sights and sounds and for older children they can learn, touch starfish and get involved in conservation projects.

I think I’m legally obliged to say that the Sealife Centre didn’t ask me to write this. These are my own views but it was so lovely I wanted to share it with you and hopefully inspire you to visit something similar.

Have you got any aquarium/zoo/wildlife park suggestions (preferably in the North West area). Willow loves animals so we’re keen to start going to as many as possible – it just needs to warm up a little for mummy first!

Speak soon

Kat x

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My 2017 blogging resolutions

Happy new year!  I hope your Christmas was fab and sparkly and largely devoid of familial melt downs.

I was really crap in December and didn’t write any blogs because Christmas totally got the better of me and acting as Willow’s social secretary was bloody exhausting (but super fun).

So sorry about that but I’m back now and feeling refreshed – kind of. I’m still sweating Brie and Baileys. Does that count as a New Year de-tox? Deffo.

Anyway, I’m writing down my blogging ‘resolutions’ for 2017 and expect you all to hold me to them. Please feel free to give me a virtual kick if you think I’m slacking.

  1. Manage my time better. I work full time so have been trying to write in the evenings when I’m usually tired and not at my creative best. This year I’m going to try and set aside some time at weekends (subject to negotiations with Anthony) to see if this suits me better.
  2. Go with the writing flow. I work in communications where content is drafted, reviewed, redrafted and signed off before being published. I’ve been applying this mind set to my blog but I think I just need to go with the flow a bit more. Nobody is expecting it to be perfect, I’m not going for a Pulitzer for Christ’s sake! This should help me with time management too.
  3. Work on my brand. I’ve been playing around with some of the free apps out there to create a logo. Having a consistent logo and theme will help make my blog more recognisable and searchable so this is definitely high on my to do list.
  4. Link up my social media accounts. I’m obsessed with Instagram but I know I need to spend more time on my Twitter and Facebook pages too.
  5. Take part in more Linkys. I started to do this towards the end of last year and really enjoyed discovering new blogs and interacting with other bloggers but it is time consuming. I’ve decided the answer is to try and get away from my desk at lunch times to take part – Lunch time Linkys!
  6. Go to a blogging event. If you’re thinking of going to one and want a buddy, give me a shout!
  7. Pay off my credit card. OK I know this isn’t related to my blog but I really need to get on top of this shiz so I’m writing it down in as many places as possible….

Most of all I just want to continue to enjoy writing and not put myself under pressure . There are times when family life means I’m too busy or I’m just genuinely dog tired but that’s ok.  I’m sure you all understand this and will let me (and each other) off once in a while.

Any advice or help on the above would be received with a million squishes (non negotiable).

Speak soon

Kat x

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Christmas with a kid

Now that the fairy dust has settled, the tree has gone (well it’s on its side in the front garden) with much wrangling, expletives and resorting to manic pruning with the garden sheers from daddy day care and the toys are put away (by put away I mean shoved to one corner of the room where they remain collecting dust as despite all the lovely things she got, Willow still only wants to play with my phone and the remote control) I think it’s a good time to reflect on our first Christmas with child.

In a word, wow. Here’s another: Exhausting. It has been a whirlwind of Christmas parties (her, not us) I think she went to five at the last count, trips to Santa and Christmas jumper days.

Making memories ❤️

We were basically her festive PAs, shuttling her about and trying to keep sugary contraband to a minimum which at Christmas is basically fighting a losing battle.  All while trying to hold down a job and do the Christmas shopping because denial kicked in and you left it too late to do it online.

And nobody was bothered about seeing us mere parentals.  Family and friends all wanted a piece of the Willow action so Christmas day and boxing day became a logistical nightmare trying to keep everyone happy, inevitably miffing someone along the way and trying to exert some damage control before it become a full scale family festive fall out.  Exhausting.  Bloody exhausting.

Having said all this, the magic of Christmas scooped us up and we let it take us along for a festive sleigh ride. The build up with a child is so much more special and I think we were more excited for Christmas day than anyone (I woke Willow up at 8am as I couldn’t wait for pressie opening any longer).  It was wonderful to start new family traditions like leaving the mince pie out for Father Christmas, sprinkling reindeer dust for Rudolph and putting on new pjs for Christmas Eve.  The look of joy on her little face as she opened her presents was priceless and the joy this brought to friends and family was immeasurable.

I know everyone says that Christmas is for kids but I really get this now. There were (sugar) highs and (exhausted) lows but spending time with my little family at Christmas was ace, a bountiful supply of Baileys may have helped.  I’m grateful for the time we got to spend together because let’s face it not everyone in the world has that option right now and had to spend Christmas in appalling circumstances.  Over the festive hols she learned to blow kisses (cute), to say ‘Peppa’ (slightly annoying) and how to climb the stairs (really annoying and she was less than impressed when the gate was installed).  But hooray we got to see these things in real time for a change

New PJs!

rather than reading about them in her nursery diary.  Thank you Christmas!

So through Baileys tinted spectacles I can say I thoroughly enjoyed our first proper Christmas together (she was only three weeks old for the first one and no amount of enthusing from mummy about opening presents could persuade her to get involved) and I for one am looking forward to Christmas 2017 (you can remind me I said this this in December) Only 362 days to go…..

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas with your families and that diplomatic relations didn’t permanently break down. And if they did I hope there was booze.  Lots of booze.

Speak soon

Kat x

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A letter to my daughter on her first birthday

Dear Willow

Happy birthday darling. You are one already, where did that year go? I feel like my heart beat and a year has passed. So much has happened. When you were born our world changed in an instant. We’ve watched you grow and learn with fascination. How did we create something so perfect?  We are so proud of you our hearts could burst. You’ve brought us joy, laughter and perspective. You’ve shown us what we are capable of and taught us patience and the meaning of true unconditional love.

I’ve not always got it right but when the days weren’t so good you always gave me a look to say “It’s ok mummy, keep trying” and I did and I became better because I want to be the best for you. It’s no less than you deserve. You are so worth all the breast milk stained, tear soaked, sleep deprived days and nights. I would do it all again for you. I really would.

Thank you darling girl for showing me the way in life, for making me realise what is truly important. I see now that family is all that matters, not the emptiness of being the last girl standing. And while the world has been going bonkers this year you have remained our sunshine. I love your innocence. You don’t know how unjust life can be and I promise to protect you and keep it that way for you for as long as I can. I also promise to dedicate myself to showing you all the amazing, wonderful people and places in the world. They are all there waiting for you. Go get them girl.

I wish so many things for you. Judging by your personality now I know you are going to be strong and smart. These are the best qualities I could hope for you. Be happy darling and most of all be yourself. Never be afraid to be you. Follow your dreams and no matter where you go or what you decide to do we will always be here to support you.

What a wonderful year.  I can’t wait to see what adventures the next one will bring for us. You are going to grow so much more and we will grow with you.

Love you to the moon and back.

Mummy xxx

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Mummy Times Two

Mummy’s hangover hell

Why oh why oh why? That was pretty much all I said last Sunday after waking up with a hangover. And a baby. I love Prosecco but it did not love me the morning after. OK so in hindsight drinking a bottle and a half to myself was never going to end in me being bright eyed and bushy tailed the next day. I thought I was being clever by not mixing my drinks, quantity wasn’t a factor in my thought process.


There were so many whys that morning: Why did you wake me up by jumping on my head? (Rooky mistake that we didn’t arrange to have Willow sleep out. D’oh!)  Why have you had two poos before breakfast? Why do you want to play with all the bangy, flashy toys this morning? Why the fuck is daddy still in bed?

In a time of crisis I turned to the holy trinity of hangover revival: paracetamol, coffee and a bacon butty and hoped for the best. Willow was on one of course, throwing herself to the floor when mummy removed her (really loud)  jingle bells.  She repaid me in kind by releasing cacti Armageddon – all my little plants turfed onto the floor which of course

Why this morning darling?

meant that the (really loud) hoover had to come out and a grumpy daddy had to be woken up while operation clean up commenced.  Picture the scene: me sweating Prosecco, wincing at the noise while trying to manoeuvre the shittest hoover in the world that just spreads things around rather than picking things up. Again, why oh why oh why?

I became acutely aware as the morning progressed that this is why I don’t go out very much anymore.  I had a lovely evening with family and friends but I think the hangover payoff is too much.  Yes, I know what you’re thinking, I could go out and not drink but I have no self control so we’ll leave that option there thank you.  To be fair Willow doesn’t give a shit if the parentals have a headache, feel a bit queasy and green around the gills.  She doesn’t know what a hangover is and why should she?  It’s Sunday morning and she wants to jump on our bellies, fling porridge around and watch Peppa Pig on repeat.  Oh to be nearly one and have no comprehension of this self inflicted torture.

The day did get slightly better.  I managed to get myself and Willow dressed, donned my sunglasses and dragged us to our local Christmas food markets.  I mistakenly thought the fresh air walk would do me good.  When I got to the fair I got caught up in the festive spirit and for some bonkers reason bought a mulled wine.  Kill or cure? A little bit of both.  At first I was all  “yeah, hair of the dog works,” then I felt a little bit sick and had to call daddy to come and get us as I couldn’t face the walk home.

Mulled wine – what was I thinking?

Willow was loving it.  She got to eat chocolate brownie, normally prohibited by the sugar police, but as it was a time of crisis, sugary contraband seemed my only option.  Whatever keeps you quiet and in your pram my darling.  Exemplary parenting right there for you.

Daddy then treated us to a carvery Sunday lunch so no cooking or washing up. Winning! We somehow hobbled through until 8:30pm when we declared ourselves defeated and, waving a white flag in the face of our collective hangovers, crawled up to bed.  An early night – fabulous….. until I started throwing up.  One of Willow’s little chums had kindly passed on their sickness bug to me. Wonderful.  I’ll leave it there. I imagine most of you are all too familiar with how that goes.

Have I learned my lesson?  Hmm…. I’d like to say yes but as the hangover fades, silly season approaches and a bottle of fizz is opened at the mere whisper of anything festive then probably not.  Not to mention it’s perfectly acceptable to glug a bit of Baileys into your coffee at this time of year.  I may have made that rule up myself – mum and I benefit enormously from it. We go through A LOT of coffee in December. One think I know for sure is that next time it is daddy’s turn to get up with her so I can wallow in hangover hell in peace. Nobody is really winning there though are they?

Please let me know about your hangover/small child nightmares.  We can laugh about it in hindsight yes?  Also any tips for easing the pain the morning after gratefully received!

Speak soon,

Kat x

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Diary of an imperfect mum


Sunshine Blogger Award

On a day when I wasn’t feeling very sunshiny, in fact I was feeling knackered and void of any inspiration to write, the lovely No Manual to Mummy sent me a nomination for the sunshine blogger award.  I know there is no actual award but that isn’t the point.  It made such a difference to know that someone out there, just one person, is taking notice of me and my little blog.

I love writing my blog.  It’s been my therapy and has helped me muddle through some puzzling parental times.  I don’t have as much time to spend writing as I’d like but with a full time job, house to keep ticking over and a baby that refuses to nap in the day I only get snatched moments.  I quite often feel guilty that I’m not focusing properly on any one thing but that’s a curse that comes with being a parent right?

Anyway, this nomination gave me the lift I needed.  So much so that I’ve neglected this challenge and published two other blogs before this one!  So I’m a little late but here are my responses:

1. If you could be any age for a week, what age would you be and why?

I think I would be 8 for a week.  It’s that lovely time when you are old enough to be aware of ‘stuff’ around you but not old enough to worry about anything other than what’s for tea and which cartoons you are going to watch on a Saturday morning.  How great would it be to have no worries or responsibilities for a week?

2. Do you have any nicknames? If so, how did you get them?

My real name is Kathryn but everyone, apart from my mum and nana, calls me Kat, even at work.  I think it came from a friend of mine Phil, who lives in LA now.  He always called me Kitty Kat and the name stuck.  I love it!  I also get Katrin quite a lot too.

3. Do you have any phobias?

Well I don’t like spiders but I’m trying to be brave around them in front of Willow so I don’t pass the phobia on to her.  I’m quite adept with a glass and a piece of card now.  I have to be because my partner is petrified of them so he is neither use nor ornament when a spider ‘situation’ arises!

4. What’s one thing you regret?

I regret not living in a city.  I love Manchester and London and wish I had been a bit braver when I left uni and taken the plunge and moved to a city.  It probably wouldn’t have been forever but it would be nice to be able to look back on that experience.  It’s never too late I suppose!

5. If you could make one wish, what would it be?

I know it sounds cheesy but I wish people would be kinder to each other.  I’m idealistic in my views but I cannot understand why we inflict so much pain and suffering on each other in the name of a patch of land or because of the religion you follow.  Live and let live I say.  I also wish Donald Trump hadn’t been elected as US President.  What sort of example does this set for our children?  What sorts of behaviour have now been legitimised because of this turn of events?  Troubling, scary times ahead I feel.

6. Would you rather go back and change the past or know your future?

Neither!  You can’t change the past, only hopefully learn from your mistakes (I frequently don’t ha!)  The future is up for grabs – it’s what you make it.  Everyday is a new day which is exciting so I wouldn’t want to know what is going to happen.  We need a bit of mystery in our lives.

7. What is your favourite festive holiday?

Christmas deffo – just in terms of the food.  I love Christmas food!  Turkey, mince pies, cheese, Baileys in everything!  It’s the one time of year when friends and family really make an effort to see each other and every other year my dad and step mum visit from Australia.  Christmas is getting back its magic sparkle since we had Willow too.  Last year it was all about ‘firsts’ (she was three weeks old, so it was more for mummy and daddy), first stocking, Christmas tree bauble, mince pie left out for Santa. This year she’ll be a bit more aware which will be fab.  It won’t be so fab when she’s trying to pull the Christmas tree over I guess!

8. What is your dream job?

To be able to make a living out of blogging!  I know this is a rarity but I would love to do it full time.  Again, never say never.  I just need eight days in the week and a whole heap of cash…..

 9. If you could give yourself one piece of advice at 16 years old, what would it be?

Believe in yourself!  I struggled with self doubt and low self esteem up until my late twenties, always thinking of myself as not good enough.  It was only after a year back packing around the world and a bit of self discovery that I figured out that I was entitled to feel strong and confident and valued in all aspects of my life, career and relationships.  Once I got my head around that and started to give zero f**ks about what people thought of me then life got a bit easier.  There are still challenges but half the battle is believing in yourself to overcome them.

10. Why did you start blogging?

I was the least maternal person before I had Willow.  Once she arrived in our lives I changed so much.  I was consumed by her.  There were good days and bad days but we muddled through and built an incredible bond.  Then going back to work loomed and I thought I was going to have a breakdown at the thought of leaving her.  I started blogging as a way to connect with other parents who were going through or had gone through the same thing.  Which is basically all parents but when you’re a first time mum and going a bit bonkers you can feel like you’re the only person going through something.  Blogging has helped me through the back to work transition withy only minor trauma (breast pad escaping from my top was a bit of a low point).  Blogging is so much more than your actual blog though.  It’s opened up this wonderful community to me which I adore and hope to keep being a part of for many years to come.

I’ve waffled on for long enough. Now to my nominations and questions.  I’m nominating:

Here are my questions:

  1. Why did you start blogging?
  2. What is your favourite childhood memory?
  3. If you could be any superhero who would it be and why?
  4. What colour best describes your personality?
  5. What is your favourite book and why?
  6. What’s the one piece of advice you are going to make sure you pass onto your children?
  7. What’s the most funny/absurd thing that has happened to you as a parent so far?
  8. Cats or dogs?
  9. If you could visit anywhere in the world where would you go and why?
  10. What is the best or worst piece of parenting advice you’ve received?

Please tweet me when your post is live so I can have a read!

Kat x

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It’s in the bag

I bought my lovely leather handbag in Bali the year before Willow was born (ah when we could flit off to the other side of the world on holiday.  Now it’s a military operation to get to the park down the road).   It’s big, soft and slouchy and great for just chucking things in. I used my bag everyday but after I had Willow it got relegated to the back of the wardrobe. I quickly realised that you need to be hands free at all times to react to whatever absurd situation taking a baby out in public throws up at you.  Day to day I didn’t even bother with a handbag for the duration of my mat leave, as long as my phone and purse were in the nappy bag I was good to go.  Except the time my purse wasn’t in the nappy bag, which I only realised while trying to pay at the Aldi checkout.  To add insult to injury I was (trying to) buy wine; double fail.  When I went back to work the bag was retrieved from its dark corner and dusted off.  It formed part of the transformation from mummy Kat to back to work Kat and was a comforting reminder of the old me.

I’ve noticed lately though that the bag is steadily getting heavier.  I seem to be lugging a tonne weight around with me and having been hands free for so long I’m starting to question why.  Why am I carrying all this weight around?  More to the point what is actually in there?  Here’s what I found on closer inspection:

  • A broken umbrella – the metal bits stick out everywhere but I figure its better than nothing when I need to protect my highly coiffed (ie. dry shampooed) bonce.
  • Bananas wafer baby snacks – For me, not Willow.  They’re yummy.
  • Make up bag with cystitis powders in – essential for the onset of stingy pee a much loved perk of being a dehydrated mummy.
  • Make up bag with a mirror, plasters, spare contacts and out of date eye drops which will probably finish off my eyesight in one squelch.
  • Paracetamol – for headache, period pain, and pain induced by a screaming child and or moaning partner.  Essential.
  • My purse – the shittest, smallest purse in the world that has about 200 cards in.
  • Sunglasses in the flimsiest case ever which offers no protection against scratching or arm bending.
  • Deodorant – I have not stopped sweating since the day I gave birth, but am constantly freezing. Flipping hormones.
  • Contact lense solution – for my knackered, itchy eyes.
  • Bee pollen tablets – my afternoon buzz!
  • Hand cream – I have the driest hands since having Willow. Probably because she poos a thousand times a day.  That’s a lot of hand washing.
  • Alcohol gel – essential for after an emergency bum change in less than adequate public changing facilities with one dried up wipe from the bottom of the nappy bag.
  • An orange pig – of course.
  • A pink rattly thing – I wondered where that sound was coming from.
  • A pair of socks – I don’t know why.
  • Breast pads – Five of, not even an even number and I’ve not breast fed since September!
  • Some pilfered napkins – parenting 101: always have napkins on hand so I pick them up wherever I go.  Oh Christ I’ve actually turned into my mum.
  • An old prescription, appointment card, parking tickets and Boots vouchers – just sheer laziness that I’ve not thrown them away.
  • An Oyster card – I live in Blackpool.
  • Eight hour cream that is at least 15 years old and probably harbouring a strain of bacteria that causes instant death. Must post to Donald Trump.
  • Paw Paw ointment – miracle stuff for my lips, another perk of being chronically dehydrated.
  • A lip gloss that came free with a magazine – I’ve not bought a magazine since before Willow was born, much less read one.
  • A button from….?
  • Five pens – what is the need? Am quite clearly a fledgling kleptomaniac.
  • A mini hair brush – which is neither use nor ornament on hair dreadlocked with baby snacks.
  • A spare bag – a bag within a bag – wtf?
  • My phone, car keys and a bottle of water are normally in there too.

I wonder what the contents of my bag say about me? I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day.  Chaotic genius?  Maybe not.  Super unorganised mum on the run more like.  It’s definitely time to de-clutter.  So what can go?  The majority of it to be honest.  Although I do find it hard to part with things.  As I’m looking at the contents now I’m kind of justifying them having their place.  If I don’t fill it then my bag won’t fulfill its true potential.

My lovely bag ❤️

I’m my own worst enemy.  In reality I’ll probably continue to chuck more stuff in there until it reaches crisis point and heaven forbid the straps break or the seams burst (this has happened to several of my previous bags).  Is it cost effective to go back to Bali to replace it?  Maybe if I just nip there by myself……

What’s lurking in your bag?  Have you though about having a de-clutter or are you a hoarder like me?  Have you had any handbag mishaps?  I found a fruit pancake squashed up in mine not so long ago.  I wonder which beautiful little monkey put that there? Leave me a comment, you can post a photo if you’re brave enough.

Speak soon,

Kat x

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Why I love Nanny Plum

I heart Nanny Plum!  I really do. She is by far my favourite character from the children’s TV I’ve been subjected to up to now. In a sea of sickly sweet female characters (Shimmer and bloody Shine – blurgh) She’s smart, sassy and has the perfect top knot.

I was adamant that Willow wasn’t going to watch TV and that we would entertain and stimulate her without relying on technology (yes, yes, laugh away).   Well Daddy Day Care undid my Hippy ideal during the first week of his paternity leave.  Within days of me being back at work she had a favourite  programme (Paw Patrol) and was merchandised up to the hilt with stickers, t-shirts and crappy bits of plastic passing themselves off as toys.  I will however now admit that TV has proved quite useful as a distraction in the mornings while I’m trying to get ready for work and it does stimulate her in ways that I can’t (well let’s clarify, it’s not that I can’t, I’m just too bloody exhausted to).

I digress, back to the brilliant Nanny Plum.  She is multi tasking the shit out of life.  Bestowing her fairy knowledge onto a precocious Holly and her squad,catering to the whims of the mega high maintenance (and really annoying) King, keeping that blasted castle clean and tidy and keeping those pesky elves in check.   Always so practical and self assured that even though she knows she’s heading straight into a blunder of epic proportions, she bulldozes on and then deals with the consequences.  More often than not she gets it wrong, so head strong that she refuses to see that she’s in the wrong BUT, she always puts things right with a wave of her magic wand and a slightly ruffled top knot.

What I love about her is that she can completely hold her own.  She frequently puts the whinging King in his place and argues the toss with that buffoon Wise Old Elf.  She’s more of a mother figure to Holly than the Queen who quite frankly seems a bit useless and plays no role whatsoever in bringing up her daughter (flipping royals palming their kids off onto the hired help).  Maybe one day Nanny will find a nice fairy to settle down with and have little fairies of her own.  I feel certain she would be an ace fairy mama.

I like to think that I can see a lot of myself in Nanny Plum (not the top knot, I can only hope to reach that level of perfection one day). As a mum I have good intentions and blunder on but mostly manage to put things right again.  I’m working on keeping our castle clean and tidy, although this is where I differ from nanny and insist these activities are in partnership with our King (nudge, nudge Daddy Day Care).  She’s def one of my role models and a great role model for all our girls too.  Proof that with a little bit of wit and sarcasm and maybe a bit of magic, you can take on the world and smash it!

Which TV character do you like the most or identify with?  I’d love to hear about them or if you heart Nanny Plum too.  Maybe we could start a Nanny Plum appreciation society!

Speak soon

Kat x

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A Mum Track Mind